because i was taught to dream

Friday, September 30, 2005 @5:07 pm

there's absolutely no drive or atmosphere for intensive practise AT ALL.

there's barely 20 people in camp, everyone else is doing project, or on attachment. and the rest, a bulk had reported on time. that was not even 20 when i counted.

did some cleaning up, slacked, lunch (which, as usual, was like shit), and sectionals, followed by slacktionals. damn crappy la. we decided to ask mr tan not to come cos NO ONE else is coming. yep. coming over would be a waste of time ((=

we're really having mass slacktionals. well the whole band is currently situated in the clubhouse. no one has the energy or mood for playing and practising.

and i think that the stupid camp is crappy on the first day la.

yawn

7 days to bangkok-

4 days-

â¥ every page of my imagination

Sunday, September 25, 2005 @3:37 am

Here I am humbled by your majesty
Covered by your grace so free
Here I am, knowing I’m a sinful man
Covered by the blood of the Lamb

Now I’ve found the greatest love of all is mine
Since you laid down your life
The greatest sacrifice

Majesty, Majesty
Your grace has found me just as I am
Empty handed, but alive in your hands
Majesty, Majesty
Forever I am changed by your love
In the presence of your Majesty

Here I am humbled by the love that you give
Forgiven so that I can forgive
Here I stand, knowing that I’m your desire
Sanctified by glory and fire

Now I’ve found the greatest love of all is mine
Since you laid down your life
The greatest sacrifice

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i love this song. speaks so powerfully.

nothing's been happening in my life lately. nothing much at least. aside from all conflict, arguement and stuff that happens within the course, and of course some quality bitching AND bullshitting, nothing much, really.

â¥ every page of my imagination

Sunday, September 18, 2005 @3:43 pm

Finally, everything's over.

I'm just awaiting the results; shivering away.

so i went out with the advertising people on wednesday. not exactly my group, but with liz, and yi tse and yawen and abigail and nicole, shayne and robin. haha.. pretty funny lar all the conversations. well but i'm sure everyone learnt something somewhere. YEA?

and i went to sentosa on friday. hahaha. that was so. much. fun!

Sentosa had Peee, Anne, Kailin, Lee, Kailin's boyfriend, and some 3 other guys from Peee's course. i dunno how to spell their names. =x.

anyway, it was really fun, peee and i were applying layers and layers of sunBLOCK. yeaaaa. hahaha. then we were playing around in the water and stuff, while kailin and anne were tanning their bodies.

the guys were playing ball. haha. well we had many crapping sessions also lar. then in the sea where we were harrassed by STARING PEOPLE who were ugly. anyway, the guys tot their bodies were fit and were envious. BUT, they were ugly and they were staring and they were irritating. so nothing to be envious about~ not at all heh.

let's not go into details of the monkey role play. that was a damn spastic 10 minutes. the guys were imitating the whole monkey show. really quite stupid. but hilarious!

saturday lunch was fantastic, was out with cousins lim. we had so much fun crapping, and carrying out extremely intellectual convos. well, mostly between Denise jie and Ben lar. so i was the one who kept digressing the topic because it was OVERWHELMINGLY CHEEM.

but i love my cousins. we always have such fun together. Happy birthday Grace jie!

today, had lunch out with the Teos. hmmmm. Baby Kyan is adorable!! i'm an Ah Yi now. can you imagine that? it's mighty weird, but then i'm so happy to see that fat and cute baby! heh. and it was the cousins on one table, and the older people on the other. celebrating the return of my aunt Kat from LA, and Linda Ah Yi's birthday, and the reunion of the teos ya. withou geraldine ah yi, sean and connor tho. i miss those two boys. and i am darned proud of them! Sean's playing the trumpet in the Naples Youth Orchestra! woooo =D proud of that boy. we have the same birthday some more! so Sean's taller than 5ft 11" now. tall! haha Connor's slightly taller now, just prolly still as skinny as ever. but i'm so proud of them.

had a mass photo taking session. it always happens at all the Teo lunches. many photos taken. i've to print them out one day. heh. my pretty 19 year-old cousin, claire, totally is beautiful beyond words. really. she's in Uni Melbourne now. hope she does well.

so, this has been quite an eventful week. yeaaaa. next week, it's back to band stuffs.

â¥ every page of my imagination

Tuesday, September 13, 2005 @12:52 am

talk about the finer things in life.

how many people have the luxury to enjoy this privilege? i really wonder.

anyway, on to another topic.

sometimes i think to myself, how many people actually mean it when they tell me "i miss you". have you ever wondered how much you actually mean it when you tell others you miss them? i feel that it's become such a phrase that not many people appreciate it anymore, and people use it freely that it doesnt mean a thing.

one thing i know for sure is that everytime i say i miss someone, i mean it with all my heart. that i really miss you. i really do. don't ask me why, i just do.

then again, how people want to look at it may be subjective. do not get the wrong idea. i just have a lot of love to give, that's all. and i'd give love to everyone whom i hold dear to my heart. and that's.. many people. some more, some less. well, aren't all humans like that? there are these people you love more than others. and love doesnt just refer to the bgr love. if you get what i mean.

bgr love is very subjective, once again. some people don't treasure it when they have it, some people treasure it more than others but end up getting hurt, others are half past 6 when it comes to commitment. people don't even realise the commitment factor. this commitment thing has to grow on each individual i guess. it just doesn't occur to one naturally that commitment is a major factor in love and a bgr.

but heck. haha. i was just wondering la. when people say to me "i miss you", do they really mean it? cos it truely warms my heart. just as i want to warm others' hearts when i tell them i miss them. truly, genuinely. ((=

â¥ every page of my imagination

Thursday, September 08, 2005 @5:19 pm

Amanda Lim!! It's the Media Law exam on monday and Advertising Exam on WednesdaY!! what are you doing online and blogging right now?!!! It's thursday already and you havent studied ONE BIT! -ack-

right. much as i'd love to try, i just can't seem to get down to reading my damned notes. here i am, bumming around on my parent's bed next to my sister, laughing and bitching about stuffs, and here i am, going on to type an entry. one that doesn't consist of anything worth reading at all.

and you'd wonder why i'd still write it. well i dunno! i can't stop my big and fat fingers (just like my huge and fat toes). I just got some rather interesting insights from reading blogs. YES, i know. i'm supposed to be reading NOTES, not BLOGS.

so okay. here goes something:

CRUSHES; INFATUATIONS; LOVE

I always wonder and think to myself, how many people have i actually really grew fond of, fond enough to convince myself that they could be the father of my children next time, or the person i could spend my life with, not bothering about living habbits like loud farting or even nose digging? a refined man wouldn't do that, you say. but at home? there's no telling. at home, with all the privacy in the world, you can fart as loudly as you can.

this may seem funny. but then when i look at a guy and think to myself," will i be able to take it if this guy sits beside me in my home and farts in front of me?"

kinda disgusting huh? but isnt this the kinda thing you have to live with when you actually get married? thought about that?

and what's a crush for? to love. what's love for? to exist in a relationship. and what's a relationship for? to have a companion to commit to for life. yep. a relationship is more than just about love and feelings, it's all abt commitment. now i think to myself, can i actually bring myself to that level of commitment? some people get married at 24, 25 years old. that's only like 5-6 years from now, for me!

how many of us actually thought about everything we'd have to accept about our other half? It definitely ain't easy. I wouldn't even know if i could. and my mom goes, "mandy ahh.. you're 19 already, how come still no boyfriend?? how come you can't find anyone?? your expectations are too high is it??" now, what do i tell her?

next you hear her say when watching tv and she sees someone like benedict goh or alan wu appear on tv, "mandy i tell you ah, next time when you find boyfriend, bring home one handsome one laa. then tall tall one, then wont be so short, like your daddy, old already so small sized, wait people say like mouse like that. then some more cannot carry the kids after awhile, cos so small, no strength."

Insightful. but then again, i really do prefer taller guys. =/

I wouldn't know. I realise I've loved not many males. I said I liked them, i could go all crazy over them. when i think about it, were they all but just crushes and infatuations? I'd just go crazy over many for two weeks, or a month, then lose interest.

or was my heart broken too many times? i've met the most ungentlemanly people of all times, that i now wonder what could be worse. let's see. just don't get me cheated. that'll do. haha.

am i reluctant to enter a relationship now? i guess you could say that. but that doesnt stop myself from having feelings for another person.. not yet, i guess.

[edit] oh, and sigh. Daddy's long time good friend, uncle david, has just passed away this morning. He was a good man, one of the best bassists in Singapore, daddy's great band mate, and good friend. I think daddy's very sad inside, but he says that because uncle David's gone to be with God, he's feeling more relieved cos uncle David doesnt have to suffer anymore (chemo every 2-3 days, plus he slipped into a coma a couple of days ago).

so much for being excited and telling daddy how he can call uncle David after he recovers, and the rest of his old band mates and form the Thunderstorms once again, after they'd all retired. I miss daddy in his young band days. Singapore's Rod Steward, they called him. haha. -sigh-

â¥ every page of my imagination

Sunday, September 04, 2005 @12:02 am

i just have this sudden urge to blog about project superstar.

i know this is kinda weird. but yea. people might ask, is this a show even worth talking about? i must say that the controversies in this show is worth all the talk in town. (=

firstly, a blind guy won. yep. fantastic market value. a blind guy who gives hope to the society by overcoming his disability to sing his heart out to people.

therefore, people gave him votes. now i wonder, since he's won. and yes, play records is a big label. but how many people will actually buy his albums from now on? the challenge starts here. i have to say, singaporeans give sympathy when it's not the time.. =/

this is a talent show, and it is true that jun yang has more singing talent than weilian. and kelly has more potential too. tho weilian has high market value. it seems that it's really all about sympathy votes. that's what i really feel. many peoplr adore him for being the cute and innocent him. and yes i agree with that, he's cute, innocent, and sings well. unfortunately, he doesnt sing as well as jun yang.

and sometimes, if u think about it in another way, i'd be damned if i win a competition like this because of my disabilities (which means his being blind gave him an edge). if wei lian was just an ordinary guy, would he attract so much attention and so many votes? now then, he'd start to record his own albums blah blah. perhaps for the first ones. many pple will buy. but with his singing style which is pretty old and kinda boring sometimes, will his arden fans soon die down and off? a question to think about. sometimes i pity him.. but anyhow, Congrats that he's won!

i'm not saying he shouldnt have won lar. i mean. he did put in a lot of effort..

i have to comment that kelly really did a great job, especially when doing a duet with my beloved JJ Lim, the most talented Singaporean singer. woooot.

and she sang well on the last song too, the CoCo Lee song. whoa. fantastic. really fantastic rendition. it almost sounded like her own! =D good work..

well. i think to me, the highlight of the show was watching weijian and junyang sing again.. and yes. the MAIN highlight, was LIN JUN JIE!!!! see i toldddddd everyone he could sing live!!!

my mom was like okayyy. and now nessa's addicted to his songs. so exciting. i went to HMV to look for his album just now but i couldnt find it. quite sad.. quite in love with his performances and his voice. absolutely lovely.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, never thought i'd be an arden fan of ANYONE in my life, really.

oh well. -shrug-

â¥ every page of my imagination

Thursday, September 01, 2005 @7:28 pm

i so have to blog down what happened today!

i was running a fever last night, so i slept early, at 12.30. i was supposed to wake up at 6 to go for medlaw. BUT I WOKE UP AT 7.45!! omg. totally cannot make it. daddy sent me to sch, i reached at 9.10.

went to look for judith and aloy, but aloy forgot to bring the print ads, and dhan was late..

anyway, thank God aloy came back on time. we were all so nervous, because we were like panicking away. other groups' presentations were good and impressive. i'd say, we prolly scored the lowest for our presentation..

but we didnt really get grilled by the teachers regarding the presentation. this was say, pretty shocking? heh

anyway we had a photo taking session in class. it's been a pleasure working with T205. i love the Jade Oracle!

well anyway we had acting and directing class after that. super lame. yes my new nickname according to mr Campbell and my class is mdm vibrator. dont ask me why.. it's embarrassinG!!! i didnt know we were filming that's why i was swinging my legs lar!!! =/

it's been quite funny. but i'm too lazy to indoctrinate everything that happened today. anyway, on monday, the Jade Oracle will be going to Carl's Jnr for a celebration!!!

well two down, three news articles and one radio assignment to go!!

â¥ every page of my imagination